{"id":43542,"date":"2026-09-15T23:42:16","date_gmt":"2026-09-15T23:42:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/new50.info\/?p=43542"},"modified":"2026-09-15T23:42:16","modified_gmt":"2026-09-15T23:42:16","slug":"a-fellow-decides-to-take-off-early-from-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/new50.info\/?p=43542","title":{"rendered":"A fellow decides to take off early from work"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">A fellow decides to leave work early and spend the evening drinking. He stays at the bar until it closes at 2 a.m. and heads home extremely drunk. Trying not to wake anyone, he removes his shoes and quietly begins tip-toeing upst&#8230;<strong>Continue Reading<\/strong><!--nextpage--><\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance and falls backward, landing hard on his rear. Unfortunately, he has a couple of empty pint bottles in his back pockets. They break during the fall, leaving several painful cuts, although he is initially too drunk to realize how badly he has hurt himself.<\/p>\n<p class=\"isSelectedEnd\">After noticing blood while getting undressed, he looks at himself in the mirror and realizes what happened. He does his best to cover the cuts with bandages before finally going to bed. The following morning, he wakes up with both a terrible headache and a very sore backside, wondering what excuse he can give his wife.<\/p>\n<p>When his wife confronts him about being drunk, he insists that he only worked late and stopped for a couple of beers. He finally asks how she could possibly know how drunk he really was. Her answer gives everything away: when she woke up that morning, she found a bunch of Band-Aids stuck all over the mirror.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A fellow decides to leave work early and spend the evening drinking. He stays at the bar until it closes at 2\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":43543,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-43542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>A fellow decides to take off early from work - New50<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/new50.info\/?p=43542\" \/>\n<link rel=\"next\" href=\"https:\/\/new50.info\/?p=43542&page=2\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"A fellow decides to take off early from work - New50\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A fellow decides to leave work early and spend the evening drinking. 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