At 52, I thought I’d seen every gold-digging drama queen out there—until Amber moved in next door. Fresh off a divorce from a man old enough to be her grandfather, she arrived in stilettos and silk robes, owning half his fortune and a house beside mine. My husband Andy greeted her politely, but I saw the red flags instantly. Muffins and fake smiles were exchanged, and it didn’t take long for Amber to turn her sights on Andy.

She ramped up her flirting with low-cut workout gear, fake emergencies, and over-the-fence compliments that made my blood boil. Andy, bless him, seemed oblivious. But I knew exactly what game Amber was playing. When she staged a fake “pipe burst” late one night and lured Andy into her candlelit trap dressed in sheer lingerie, he recoiled in shock. “I’m married!” he shouted. That’s when I knew he’d passed the test—but I wasn’t done.

The next morning, I borrowed his phone and baited Amber with a fake flirty message. That night, she strutted into our house, expecting seduction—only to be greeted by my entire book club. Retired teachers, cops, and grandmothers calmly let her know we’d seen her kind before. The show was over. She left humiliated and shaken, and by morning, a For Sale sign stood on her lawn.

Andy asked why she left so suddenly. I just smiled over my coffee. Some women think marriage is something you can steal like a purse. But women like me? We’ve been around long enough to spot a thief—and shut her down before she even gets through the door.