Jack and I had barely unpacked when Lindsey, pastel cardigan and cookies in hand, informed us of a “one car per house” rule. It didn’t exist, but she insisted with the zeal of a self-appointed HOA president. We smiled, closed the door, and forgot about it—until three mornings later when two tow trucks lifted our cars while she smirked from the sidewalk.

Instead of panicking, I pointed to the nearly invisible permit etched on our windshields. “That sticker? Government clearance. Illegal tow equals twenty-five grand—on you.” Her smile vanished. We went inside, leaving her to stew. Jack grinned: “She’ll be Googling till her hair frizzes.”

By dawn, a black SUV delivered the kicker. A suited federal agent rang her bell, badge gleaming. “Ma’am, you interfered with an active undercover operation. You initiated the tow of two protected vehicles. The resulting cost: twenty-five thousand dollars.” Her mug slipped from her hands, coffee spreading across the porch. “I didn’t know,” she whispered. “You failed to verify,” he replied, and left her white as chalk.

After that, Lindsey’s welcome wagon closed for good. No more notes, no more glares, no more HOA fantasies. She clipped her roses in silence, avoiding eye contact, her perfect bushes drooping like they’d caught her shame. We parked as we pleased, every day a quiet reminder: bake the cookies, skip the power trip.