How long sex “should” last is a question with no universal answer. A mix of emotional connection, energy, communication, and personal preference shapes each couple’s experience. While studies often focus on penetration, that’s only one part of the full sexual encounter for many people.

On average, sexual intercourse lasts about five minutes, though many men perceive it as longer. Surveys suggest that the “ideal” time may be closer to 16 minutes — but that includes foreplay, connection, and emotional intimacy, not just physical activity.

When women were asked about their preferences, most said they enjoy sex that lasts five to ten minutes, especially if foreplay is part of the experience. Experts note that many women underestimate their own preferences, but actual satisfaction tends to align with those averages.

Ultimately, there’s no one-size-fits-all duration. What matters most is mutual satisfaction, communication, and feeling connected. In healthy relationships, timing takes a backseat to trust, comfort, and shared pleasure.