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A Blonde Went Into a Pet Shop Looking for a Parrot

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The owner explained that a new shipment was expected from South America the following Thursday and promised he could get her a parrot then.

The woman became frustrated and said she would not be able to return that day or for quite some time afterward. Curious, the owner asked why.

She replied that Thursday was the day she was scheduled to have her leg amputated—adding an unexpected punchline to her plan of becoming the most authentic pirate possible.